Being a Parent is Hard

I have learned a very valuable lesson this week. Being a parent is hard. I don’t mean the long sleepless night when they are little, or making it through the temper tantrums and fits of the Terrible Twos. I am not even talking about the sacrifices made so my children could have the opportunities I has a child, or the attitudes I get on a daily basis from my pre-teen and teenager.
No…I am talking about when your child’s heart breaks and yours breaks right along with theirs. I picked up my teenager from school one afternoon and they were sniffling. This sniffling turned into sobbing once the car doors were shut. I did not know what was wrong, but immediately I started crying and I was angry at whoever had hurt them. It was nothing physical, but it was an emotional hurt. And I was helpless. It wasn’t due to a relationship gone sour…or a bad grade on a test. No, it was that a teacher took a position away without any warning or plausible reason. My son was Band President…and he was told after school one day that he was no longer President, no longer Section Leader, and was now just a normal member of the band. He felt that his position was taken away for no reason (the reasons that were given were vague and had no backup). His hard work all year will receive no recognition at the awards ceremony. Instead, so child who did not have the position for more than a week will receive it. I do not blame the replacement, but I blame the band instructor. The reason I received was that he was removed as a lesson of humility and humbleness. That there were 2 instances where my son answered with attitude. I’m sorry…name a teenager that doesn’t have mood swings and talks with attitude from time to time. And a lesson? What 13 year old is going to have the mindset to view what happened as a lesson to be learned and not feel angry and hurt over having something that was so important to them taken away? And the timing…a week before the awards ceremony where he would have received multiple awards, and now will be receiving none. My son feels that all his hard work and dedication was for nothing. What child should feel like that?
So, right now, being a parent is hard! My heart is breaking and I’m trying to keep my angry thoughts to myself. I want my son to keep his head held high and not feel defeated or want to quit. He only has 4 1/2 weeks left of school. So I told him that, while I understand this is difficult, he needs to remain a good student and not feel angry. He can be upset, but he can’t take it out on the band instructor because he has to look at the bigger picture. Next year he will be at a new school, with a new band director, and he can start fresh. He doesn’t have to feel that he is being picked on and singled out like he has felt for the past year.  I know this is hard for him, but it’s hard for me because I want to protect him from hurt…and I didn’t.

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